Long Distance Relationships: Make it Work!

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, because long distance relationships have never been more popular.

Once stigmatized as doomed to fail, long distance relationships are more feasible than ever thanks to instant communications technologies like FaceTime, and easier lower-cost travel.

Are you about to embark on a long-distance relationship?

• Maybe your significant other just landed their dream job, but it’s across the country…

• Maybe she’s preparing to take that solo backpacking trip she’s been saving up for since before you met, but she’ll be gone for six months...

• Maybe you met the woman of your dreams while studying abroad in Europe, but it’s time for you to head back home…

Regardless of your personal scenario, there’s no need to panic about shifting your relationship from in-person to long-distance if you think about these 8 things.

#1: Communication

Communication is important for any relationship to succeed, but a LDR truly can’t survive without it. From the moment your partner is deciding to set sail until you are reunited again, you need to be impeccable at your communication.

Communicating regularly while apart is incredibly nurturing for a LDR.

Simple things like “good morning” and “good night” can really help to lessen the distance. While your partner isn’t going to be there to experience everything in your day to day, you can still update on your life to feel closer, to matter how mundane it may seem. Communication can sometimes be difficult if there’s a time difference involved. Make sure to set time aside at convenient times for both of you.

#2: Managing Expectations

Communication also means setting the ground rules to manage expectations. Nothing kills a relationship faster than expectations, and this is especially true in LDRs.

Both of you need to be clear about what you expect of one another during this time apart. Remember, every single relationship is unique, including yours. Do what feels best to your relationship instead of relying on external inputs from societal norms.

This is a good way to lay the ground rules, set exceptions for communication, and find the unique rhythm of your LDR. 

#3: Being Committed to the Relationship

Any relationship can work as long as both parties are committed to doing the work that makes it work. LDRs can be difficult, so having both people committed to the relationship is especially important when planning to spend time apart.

Commitment also means being respectful and honest with one another. Be honest about feelings of fear, insecurity, apathy, or anything else that comes up. Hiding things in LDRs will make staying connected while apart more difficult. 

#4: Leveraging Technology

Technology is almost certainly why LDRs are so successful and doable these days.

Your iPhone enables you to stay connected with your SO all day in many different ways, no matter where you're located. This includes FaceTime, messaging, social media, and even watching a movie together.

Take full advantage of everything technology has to offer so you can feel more connected to the partner during time apart. While you don’t necessarily have to video call every day, making time to connect visually can be a really valuable way to stay close while far apart. 

#5: Planning Visits

Visits are the highlight of every LDR. After waiting so long to see your love, reunion is going to feel like absolute fireworks. Especially if you are going to be apart for a long time, be sure to plan some visits in between so you have milestones to look forward to. 

Strategy #6: Setting an End Date

While not every LDR has an end date where the relationship goes back to in-person, sometimes it can be super helpful.

An end date works like a goal that you both are working towards together. This not only keeps you both on the same page, but also can help you both feel like you’re sharing an experience and moving towards the same end goal. If you don’t have a solid end date, then use times when you visit one another as milestone end dates to look forward to. 

#7: Doing Things Together 

Just because you’re thousands of miles apart doesn’t mean you can’t do things together. Small details like reading the same book, watching movies together, cooking at the same time, or having morning coffee together virtually can make a big difference to feeling closer and more intimate during a LDR. Get creative to make sure you are still doing the things you love to do together, just do them virtually. 

#8: Being Present

Nothing ruins the silver lining of a LDR as quickly as living your life like you’re just waiting for them to come back.

The truth is, a LDR can be an incredibly opportunity for both you and your partner to spend some quality time alone, do things that you love to do, and spend time with friends and family.

Your world doesn’t have to revolve around your partner.

There are plenty of things to do that doesn’t have to involve them. Be present and see this time apart as a wonderful opportunity to spend time with yourself and also to remember all the reasons why you love to be with them. 

Every relationship is different, and good long distance relationships must reflect the needs and values of the specific people involved.

What works for one couple, doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

If you and your partner are planning some time apart, rest assured that it’s definitely possible to make this a golden chapter of your relationship.

Follow these strategies to be sure your time apart makes your relationship flourish.

And if you want to know what not to do, check out my article on Why Long Distance Relationships Don't Work.

PS. Ready to uplevel your dating life fast?

I'd love to share my best free guides, so you can start making progress immediately:

• 📲 What I Swipe Right On (how to improve your matches on apps like Hinge fast)
• 💬 Master The Message (how to create more chemistry via text)
• 🏀 How To Bounce Back (dating 101 for newly single guys)
• 😅 You're Nice, But... (dating 101 for "nice" guys)

Just pop in your name and email below, and I'll send over your free guides immediately!

Xo Blaine