Pick Me Girl Meaning (And Why You Should Know It)

Looking to understanding what the term “Pick Me Girl” means?

Look no further! Today we’ll cover:

• What is a Pick Me Girl? This is so you can spot Pick Me Girl behaviors in women you interact with 🕵️‍♂️
• What Pick Me Girl behaviors should you beware of? We’ll look at a few specific red flags 🚩
• Is it OK to date a Pick Me Girl? I share a few thoughts at the end of this article 💭

(I’ve also written extensively on what a Pick Me Boy is, how to identify them, and how to stop being one in case you’re curious about that too 🙃)

Anyway, let’s dive in!

PICK ME GIRL MEANING PART 1:

What Is A Pick Me Girl?

Pick Me Girls claim they’re different from other women to win favor from men.

For example, Pick Me Girls might say something like:

"Unlike her, I have more important things to do in the morning than to waste an hour putting on makeup…

(CLASSIC PICK ME GIRL QUOTE)

Pick Me Girls may make comparisons that criticize other women in specific areas like:

• Appearances. A Pick Me Girl might slut-shame other women’s senses of style, beauty regimes, or physical appearances 💅

• Careers. A Pick Me Girl may call out her professional successes (or lack of) to differentiate herself from other women 👔

• Lifestyle Choices. A Pick Me Girl may highlight other ways she is “not like other girls,” e.g. she doesn’t spend time at nightclubs, or she is interested in male-dominated hobbies like sports or video games 🏀

The Pick Me Girl mentality can be rooted in misogynistic and patriarchal beliefs that stem from seeking acceptance from men. For example:

• A Pick Me Girl might consistently side with male viewpoints, regardless of the situation, and may not form friendships with other women as a result 🙅‍♀️

• A Pick Me Girl may not hold men accountable for their bad behaviors, while expecting women to meet unrealistic standards 🙍‍♀️

Pick Me Girls may not reserve their righteous judgments solely for women… Pick Me Girls may criticize men too!

For example, imagine you’re with a few friends at a local bar, and you meet a successful woman you’re attracted to 🥰

As you’re about to ask for this woman’s number, your pick-me-girl friend chimes in with a bomb:

You think you actually have a shot with a lawyer?! 💣

Pick Me Girl behavior can cause men to question their self-confidence, and dating standards…

🚫 This is toxic!

PICK ME GIRL MEANING PART 2: 

What Pick Me Girl behaviors should you beware of?

🚩 Pick Me Girl behaviors are red flags, and you should beware. Here’s why:

• Pick Me behaviors stem from insecurity and low self-esteem. Insecure people (men and women both) tend to be negative and un-fun to spend time with 👎

• Pick Me Girls may play mind games (e.g. fishing for compliments) with their partners to feel validated. Pick Me Girls can lose interest in their partners quickly if their partners fail to deliver a constant stream of validation 🎣

• Pick Me Girls can gaslight you if you confront them about their jealous and passive-aggressive behaviors. For example, a Pick Me Girl may accuse you of being interested in the types of women she denigrates if you push back on her criticisms 😶‍🌫️

I’ve seen articles like this compare Pick Me Girls to male Simps. There are absolutely parallels, especially around the underlying insecurity and low self-esteem that drives both phenomenons 😥

If you’re curious to learn more, check out my post on How To Not Be A Simp here.

PICK ME GIRL MEANING PART 3:

Is It OK To A Date Pick Me Girl?

The right answer is that it depends, but you should be cautious.

🤔 Pick Me Girls aren’t necessarily bad people…

Her validation-seeking, and the toxic criticisms that accompany it, may be subconscious and not deliberate.

For example, a Pick Me Girl may have been raised in a strict religious or patriarchal environment, and she may not realize her judgments can harm other people.

She may genuinely pity the women she disses, because of deep-held beliefs, and a cultivated sense of entitlement advocating for them.

🥲 Pick Me Girls just tend to be needy.

The comparisons and criticisms that characterize Pick Me Girls’ behaviors tend to stem from unmet inner needs for validation, acceptance, and belonging.

These unmet needs can create challenges in relationships, like clinginess, disrespect for boundaries, and games.

Contrast these behavior patterns with those of confident women who lean into their traits and passions without drawing comparisons.

These women don’t seek validation of their worth from their romantic partners, and are therefore more capable of forming stabler relationships.

⚠️ Exercise care and thought when considering women with Pick Me behaviors as partners.

• Pick Me Girls may shame the other women in your life. This can strain friendships, and make for awkward dinner parties… 😬🍝

• You may fall into a cycle of paying Pick Me Girls inauthentic compliments to boost their self-esteem… 😕

Consider your lifestyle and psychological health, then ask yourself: will a Pick Me Girl actually be the highest-quality partner for me?

PICK ME GIRL MEANING WRAP-UP

Closing Thoughts

Today we learned that:

1. Pick Me Girls attempt to impress men by criticizing other women 😒

2. Pick Me Girl behaviors stem from insecurity, and are often red flags 🚩

3. If you’re seeing a woman who exhibits Pick Me Girl behaviors, you should be careful when pursuing a relationship ⚠️

Keep these tips in mind, and let me know things go.

PS. Ready to uplevel your dating life fast?

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• 📲 What I Swipe Right On (how to improve your matches on apps like Hinge fast)
• 💬 Master The Message (how to create more chemistry via text)
• 🏀 How To Bounce Back (dating 101 for newly single guys)
• 😅 You're Nice, But... (dating 101 for "nice" guys)

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Xo Blaine